Naso on Sotah

One of the laws discussed in Parshas Naso is known as the Law of the “sotah,” which describes how a Hebrew court is meant to deal with a woman accused of being adulterous. (Numbers 5:12-31) If we could hold a contest to determine the most misunderstood commandment in the Torah, then the Law of the “sotah” would have to be declared the absolute winner.

“If” a woman is accused of adultery by her husband, and there seems to be serious grounds for suspicion, she is given a choice: accept a divorce or stand up to a strange Torah test. Sometimes, when a man feels emasculated by his wife, a spirit of jealously over comes him. Where does this spirit of jealously come from? Most of the time, it comes from within because he is probably projecting on his wife, precisely what he would do if he were in her position. This fills him with anger but his anger is really at his own actions just as David had anger at his own actions with Bathsheba.

David was told a scenario about a man that had many lambs but he took another man’s lamb and consumed it. David was initially furious at such selfishness but came to his senses when the prophet pointed out the story was a parable about himself.

Back to Naso

The test, if she opts for it, rather than taking a plea bargain, requires her to drink "bitter waters" into which the name of God had been dissolved. If she is guilty, her reproductive system swells and ruptures and thus, she remains childless or dies.

The chief problem lies in the mistaken idea that this instruction is meant to put down women but this is far from the case. As in everything else, the “Truth” is in the details.

First let's set the record straight as to the facts:

While it is the accused woman who must actually drink the bitter waters, the waters affect her male partner in adultery identically. Just as the waters examine her, they also examine him. (Talmud, Sotah 27b)

What is more, the Torah awards the power of decision to the woman rather than to the man who must share her fate. She is not forced to drink the bitter waters at all. The truth is she doesn't even have to admit to anything. She just has to refuse to drink the bitter waters on any grounds at all. She can say she has too much anxiety; she can say she would rather lose money than cause the holy name of God to be rubbed out; she can say she can't live with such a suspicious husband anyway etc. All she loses, if she chooses not to drink, is her ketubah, her marriage settlement, merely a monetary loss. She is free to marry anyone, and walk away from the entire mess totally unencumbered.

The man, on the other hand, is at her mercy. If she professes her innocence and insists on drinking the waters it will avail him naught to admit to his guilt. As long as she decides to drink, if the water kills her, it will kill him too.

In general, Torah law treats both parties to adultery in precisely the same fashion. Whatever is a punishable offense for the female is the same for the male. The sotah law is the diametric opposite of discrimination against the woman. It emphasizes her supremacy in the “all-important” area of family purity.