Conflict
Why are there conflicts?
Every time we refuse to acknowledge the truth about any aspect of who we are, it is like we condemn ourselves for being imperfect and we send that unconscious message, "I am inadequate." This creates conflict. As an analogy, today's vehicles are designed so that in an accident, the vehicle absorbs as much of the collision's energy as possible. This absorbed energy cannot be recovered, since it goes into the permanent deformation of the vehicle. In the same way, when we collide with a reality about ourselves and refuse to accept it, we are changed (dented). Torah states “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” If we do not repent and confess, then we are in conflict with Torah.
Denying the truth does not, in any way, make our flaws go away. Our flaws cannot be hidden. It makes us, the real us, “created in the Image” go away. If we are not completely honest with ourselves (and by extension, with others), then our self esteem does not engage. Only our ego survives and thrives in a world of falsehood.
Only when we have fully accepted something about ourselves, or our lives, do we no longer need to hide from it. Thus the conflict goes away and then we don't care who knows or who finds out, and we don't allow that reality to hold us back. At this point, our fears dissolve, because there is no longer a threat of exposing ourselves to rejection. The only thing that can ever be rejected is an image of shame. That was not the Image we were created in and when we are conformed to that image there is no fear of us being rejected.